Never mind a bad hair day …

Have you ever had a day when your pants just won’t behave? You pick a pair of ordinary pants out of your drawer and from the minute you do that they set their face against you and refuse to be worn.
First of all, they refuse to hang straight resulting in your putting both legs in one hole. It could be the leg hole or it might be the waist hole. This depends on how contrary the pants feel. You remove them gripping the side of the dressing table for moral support.
You try again, carefully holding the pants at an angle in order for the opening to be as wide as possible. You carefully insert a toe and ease it down until it touches the floor. All well and good. You try the next foot; using the same technique. Well done you. You stand proud only to find that while you were concentrating on putting one leg in each hole the pants have surreptitiously turned around and you are now wearing them back to front. Off they come again.
You are aware that the morning is beginning to get away from you. You have places to go; people to see. Do your pants care? Not a jot. You are sure that they are sniggering to themselves as you prop yourself up against the wardrobe in a valiant effort to try for the third time. Third times are supposed to be lucky. Not on your life. You find your foot has become entangled in the sheet that’s hanging from the unmade bed and you come to rest with your nose up against the wardrobe door; your pants entangled around your ankle and a rather cross sheet twisted around your foot. You are going nowhere.
You know full well you should have gone downstairs and had a nice relaxing cup of tea before you even thought about getting a pair of pants out of your drawer. It would have put you in the right frame of mind to combat the idiosyncrasies of contrary underpinnings.

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